Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Since I have had a horrible couple of days, I have been unable to write about all of the shit that has happened since last Friday.
Here is the quick low down:
1) On Saturday night, I met a guy named Joe at a bar that we all went to. He is 39 years old, kinda cute, but kinda nasty at the same time. He had nice pecs and I was in the mood to be wanted, so after talking to him for a little while at the bar, Kelly, Angie, Mariah and I went over to his high-rise building in Hells Kitchen to have a few drinks and hang out. He has the most unbelievable view any of us have seen in the city. It was absolutely beautiful. After hanging out there for awhile, the girls left and I stayed behind to get to know him a bit better. Within minutes of the girls leaving, Joe asked if he could kiss me. My immediate answer was “No”. He proceeded to beg for the kiss for about 10 minutes and I finally was like “Fine, whatever”. Big mistake. Instead of giving me a nice, manly kiss, Joe came at me and started to lick my lips. I was like “Wha? HORK!”. He licked them for like 30 seconds and then I pulled away. His question was “Did you like the kiss?” My answer was “I have to go now”. I used the bathroom and bolted from his apartment. “But wait…don’t you want to exchange phone numbers?” I replied “Sure, but I can’t call you for at least a month. I am in a play and don’t have any time for anything else right now.” I gave him my number and took off. He called yesterday and left a message. I laughed and deleted it. That will teach YOU to lick my lips in an indulgent and grotesque manner.
2) As we were walking to Joe’s apartment that night, something absurd happened. Out of nowhere, I feel something slam into my back. My first reaction was “Someone through something at me cuz I’m gay!” (Damn, I can be so lame) I turned around to see what was thrown at me and what did I see? A pigeon (!) lying on the ground next to me, totally disoriented. I saw the girls, walking farther behind me, laughing hysterically. Turns out, Kelly had tried to pull a feather from one of the wings of the pigeon and scared it so badly that it flew directly into the center of my back. Um.
3) Things with Ian and I are going very well. We are starting to settle into a real friendship now. He talks to me about things going on in his life and vice versa. I feel much more comfortable around him now and I can tell that he feels the same way. He told me last night that he is going to burn the new Dave Matthew’s disc for me. Well! I mean, if you’re giving away presents…bring em on! I just love this kid. I hope we continue to get to know each other after the show ends.
4) I sent out 50 headshots and resumes to talent agencies in NYC. I have yet to receive a single phone call in response. I am following up my letters with a reminder postcard about the show. There isn’t much more I can do beside that, except pray. The headshots and the postage together cost me about $100. Last night at rehearsal Ian and Sarah both announced that they have gotten interviews with commercial and film agents from the letters they sent out. I did my absolute best to be a good sport about it, but deep down it hurts. I put in so much effort into my letters and so far it seems as though I flushed all of that time and money down the toilet. All I can do is count on God to guide this endeavor as well as the rest of my career. If this performance is not meant to net me an agent, then that’s fine. I have to trust in him and not get upset if other people get a better response.
5) I got a new hamster last night! Right after work, I went to the local pet store and picked up my new baby. He looks exactly like Neechee, cept he is a bit bigger. The employee at the store told me that it wasn’t a good idea to put a new male into the cage with an existing male, but I told him that I wanted it any way. When I got home, I introduced “Jim” to “Kimberly” and they hit it off immediately. When I returned to the apartment after rehearsal, they were sitting together having tea. It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Them with their little mugs and cigarettes in their hands. Tre cute. Cept not so much tea and cigarettes as them eating sunflower seeds. You understand.
6) Paul still hasn’t called me since our fight. Although my friends tell me that he misses me and loves me, I still feel a bit concerned about the whole thing. I am going to let him take as much time as he needs. But with the next 3 weeks of my life being an emotional and chaotic roller coaster, I could really use his support. I suppose I did this to myself. But I would feel much better about everything if I had the boy that I love there with me every step of the way.
7) Although I haven’t had any agents call to reserve a ticket for the show, my friends and family have reserved 60 tickets! Considering that the space only holds 40 people at a time, this is a great accomplishment. I have the most wonderful and supportive people in my life and everyone wants to come. It makes me feel incredibly loved. Especially since I haven’t done a single thing in this city since I moved here back in 2001. So maybe it’s okay if no one from the industry comes for me. It is most important that I have those I love around me.
8) I have been on the most strict diet for the last 3 weeks and guess what? It’s WORKING! I have lost 10 pounds at this point and I am hoping for another 5 by the time the show opens. I feel so much better in my skin and my clothes fit me better than they have in years. What have I done to lose this weight? Eat MUCH less and when I do eat, it has to be healthy. Low calorie, low fat, high protein. Who knew? Everyone in the world, but me. Now that the excess weight is coming off, I never want to return to the days of pizza and McDonald’s as my staple food source. Well, except for when I am drunk. Cuz what is better that pizza and McDonald’s when you are wasted? NOTHING!
And that’s it!
Thank you to everyone for the kind words yesterday. I really needed it. I felt so horrible about what happened with little Neechee. But today is a new day and the sun is shining and I feel ready to continue on with everything that I have been working on.
You are all the breast.
Here is the quick low down:
1) On Saturday night, I met a guy named Joe at a bar that we all went to. He is 39 years old, kinda cute, but kinda nasty at the same time. He had nice pecs and I was in the mood to be wanted, so after talking to him for a little while at the bar, Kelly, Angie, Mariah and I went over to his high-rise building in Hells Kitchen to have a few drinks and hang out. He has the most unbelievable view any of us have seen in the city. It was absolutely beautiful. After hanging out there for awhile, the girls left and I stayed behind to get to know him a bit better. Within minutes of the girls leaving, Joe asked if he could kiss me. My immediate answer was “No”. He proceeded to beg for the kiss for about 10 minutes and I finally was like “Fine, whatever”. Big mistake. Instead of giving me a nice, manly kiss, Joe came at me and started to lick my lips. I was like “Wha? HORK!”. He licked them for like 30 seconds and then I pulled away. His question was “Did you like the kiss?” My answer was “I have to go now”. I used the bathroom and bolted from his apartment. “But wait…don’t you want to exchange phone numbers?” I replied “Sure, but I can’t call you for at least a month. I am in a play and don’t have any time for anything else right now.” I gave him my number and took off. He called yesterday and left a message. I laughed and deleted it. That will teach YOU to lick my lips in an indulgent and grotesque manner.
2) As we were walking to Joe’s apartment that night, something absurd happened. Out of nowhere, I feel something slam into my back. My first reaction was “Someone through something at me cuz I’m gay!” (Damn, I can be so lame) I turned around to see what was thrown at me and what did I see? A pigeon (!) lying on the ground next to me, totally disoriented. I saw the girls, walking farther behind me, laughing hysterically. Turns out, Kelly had tried to pull a feather from one of the wings of the pigeon and scared it so badly that it flew directly into the center of my back. Um.
3) Things with Ian and I are going very well. We are starting to settle into a real friendship now. He talks to me about things going on in his life and vice versa. I feel much more comfortable around him now and I can tell that he feels the same way. He told me last night that he is going to burn the new Dave Matthew’s disc for me. Well! I mean, if you’re giving away presents…bring em on! I just love this kid. I hope we continue to get to know each other after the show ends.
4) I sent out 50 headshots and resumes to talent agencies in NYC. I have yet to receive a single phone call in response. I am following up my letters with a reminder postcard about the show. There isn’t much more I can do beside that, except pray. The headshots and the postage together cost me about $100. Last night at rehearsal Ian and Sarah both announced that they have gotten interviews with commercial and film agents from the letters they sent out. I did my absolute best to be a good sport about it, but deep down it hurts. I put in so much effort into my letters and so far it seems as though I flushed all of that time and money down the toilet. All I can do is count on God to guide this endeavor as well as the rest of my career. If this performance is not meant to net me an agent, then that’s fine. I have to trust in him and not get upset if other people get a better response.
5) I got a new hamster last night! Right after work, I went to the local pet store and picked up my new baby. He looks exactly like Neechee, cept he is a bit bigger. The employee at the store told me that it wasn’t a good idea to put a new male into the cage with an existing male, but I told him that I wanted it any way. When I got home, I introduced “Jim” to “Kimberly” and they hit it off immediately. When I returned to the apartment after rehearsal, they were sitting together having tea. It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Them with their little mugs and cigarettes in their hands. Tre cute. Cept not so much tea and cigarettes as them eating sunflower seeds. You understand.
6) Paul still hasn’t called me since our fight. Although my friends tell me that he misses me and loves me, I still feel a bit concerned about the whole thing. I am going to let him take as much time as he needs. But with the next 3 weeks of my life being an emotional and chaotic roller coaster, I could really use his support. I suppose I did this to myself. But I would feel much better about everything if I had the boy that I love there with me every step of the way.
7) Although I haven’t had any agents call to reserve a ticket for the show, my friends and family have reserved 60 tickets! Considering that the space only holds 40 people at a time, this is a great accomplishment. I have the most wonderful and supportive people in my life and everyone wants to come. It makes me feel incredibly loved. Especially since I haven’t done a single thing in this city since I moved here back in 2001. So maybe it’s okay if no one from the industry comes for me. It is most important that I have those I love around me.
8) I have been on the most strict diet for the last 3 weeks and guess what? It’s WORKING! I have lost 10 pounds at this point and I am hoping for another 5 by the time the show opens. I feel so much better in my skin and my clothes fit me better than they have in years. What have I done to lose this weight? Eat MUCH less and when I do eat, it has to be healthy. Low calorie, low fat, high protein. Who knew? Everyone in the world, but me. Now that the excess weight is coming off, I never want to return to the days of pizza and McDonald’s as my staple food source. Well, except for when I am drunk. Cuz what is better that pizza and McDonald’s when you are wasted? NOTHING!
And that’s it!
Thank you to everyone for the kind words yesterday. I really needed it. I felt so horrible about what happened with little Neechee. But today is a new day and the sun is shining and I feel ready to continue on with everything that I have been working on.
You are all the breast.
